Andy Luke (andyluke) wrote,
Andy Luke

5th - a.m.

Just as soon as I shave I'll be the pastiest, vampiric, blotchy translucent white boy in the great big city of Chandigarh. The man down the street is pressing my seven shirts, today being of the Hindi festival of the same name. Yesterday, a cobbler breathed new life into my 5-year old “occasion” shoes, taking the crucified soles to a needle, thread and replacement. This was done for 350 rupees (£5) and worth every penny. Acclimatising, I cry and a tear drips out when I wonder where the cobblers in the UK went to. The Season of the Seven Shirts should cost me no more than a quid at 5-10rs apiece.

There's a knack to Indian dancing and I should know because I'm knackered. Shoulders and legs (waist and knees), top half and bottom half. In between using one hand to change a lightbulb and reaching for a replacement from the box with your other. Shoulders and legs..drop a cigarette and stub it out with your toes. Rhythm sync (cinch!)

Today the rings are exchanged. I'm trying folks but I'm the fugly duckling. The razor was cheap, I have nasal and ear hairs, I'm angry and upset, I should have taken care of things my way. I think I will seek out whiskey for breakfast and consider how I am not on holiday.

Some of you Bangorian Housing benefit dwelling fecks might not understand so I'll explain it to you. The ceremony of the rings is a drive to the bride's home, a few hours away, and thus 7-8 cars from Chandigarh staying overnight in a hotel. Pack a bag? Pack a bag? Fecccccccccccck. Off collecting suit, the presser didn't know it needed to be ready for now. I tip him and he manages English. I didn't know it needs a coathanger and I've packed tablets, washkit, underwear and all else.

When I was 8, Mrs. Deering kept a box of mercury above the cupboard (and a stuffed owl) in her classroom. Mercury became a recurring motif though it was not until sometime after 16, or 25. Fasten your seatbelt. When I would sneeze, or shave under my arm, or had an illhead or at random junctures, too loose to collate or pattern. When these things came, my face would be surrounded by little balls of mercury. Hallucinations that were not hallucinations. UFOs natural. And when I identified a link (with illness), even then I was not scared. I was curious, but not threatened. I had already begun to regard them as a lucky charm, little accomplices that (probably) only I could see, (my own silver-pheres) Having heard Auntie speak of chakra colours yesterday I wondered if they might be explained in terms of this. If you have any thoughts on it, please hack/eke out a comment.

My lift is still not here. Feck this, I'm going off the vegan grounds for a cigarette.
Tags: "hala boulah", "hala gulah"

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